Reach out and touch faith

What is so difficult about giving a 'High Five' or for that matter any sort of five ? It's pretty easy from what I've seen, a simple slap of the hands acting either as an indication/acknowledgment of either success, a greeting, an agreement etc. Now I'm not sure how long its been around but its definitely not a new phenomenon. What I can't get is why old people seem to F**k this little greeting up, time, after time, after time. For some reason they treat it as a quasi handshake and when you decide to put one of them to the challenge the both of you end up looking like graduates from the 50 and under IQ camp.

Here's where they get it all wrong;

1) When the offer of 'the five' is provided, i.e, a younger person being the instigator, the old person somehow confuses it with an horizontal handshake. The strange hybrid that they come up with you involves them sliding their hand across the palm of the instigator rather than slapping it.

2) The actual 'Hi Five' fails even more critically as the older person either goes for the a) hand clasp or b) uses option one and does a little push away. Either way that manage to get it all wrong with the intention of the younger person being blown out of the water by the ineptitude of the older, dilapidated, retarded geezer/geezress.

What can we do to solve the problem ?

The 'Hi Five' or 'the five' is a casual thing, it's hip without being over the top. I'd say education would be the logical option but when you get to a certain age you're just set in your ways and just can't get past the concept that 'your way' isn't necessarily the best. I personally think the best option is a solid diet of hip-hop/r'n'b videos because the one thing that an older person is not getting any of is stimulation in the nether regions. It's going to have to be a form of 'selling the five' via titillation. What better way to get an oldie to give you a five than by spinning Cisco's 'the thong' song 100 times and by your alloted geezer mimicking their actions ? Of course, the geezer my start calling you 'hommie' and ask you 'where all the hoes at ?' but hey, you've got to give a little to get a little. As for the geezress, well I recommend something by Usher or maybe a Denzel Washington movie or two. I think the geezress needs to be worked a little more but with the necessary cajoling she to can be offering the one handed slap with the enthusiasm of a little 'Bow Wow.

I see RED !!!!!

Today is just so dumb !! I have no issue with Valentines Day per se, I've been single for most of my life so it's never been a particularly important day. There are however two types of people that really get under my skin when it comes to V-Day;

a) The individual that takes the 'intellectual' tack and decides to point out to anyone that will listen that the day is distinctly a commercial pursuit that obligates many amongst us to part with our hard earned just so we can profess a love that we know already exists. A-ha, so well picked up Captain Obvious but where are you when it comes to Easter, Christmas, Mothers Day and Fathers Day ? It's all freakin commercialised but I'm sure you partake without a consideration on those days. So why don't you just let your pathetic diatribe slide, just because you're single and think/feel the desire to 'intellectualise' your way out of feeling pathetic, worthless or ugly doesn't mean that anyone else has to agree/care or even feel the need to listen to you. Just as a side note, there are some people I know that do think that ALL the days I've mentioned are commercialised and nonsensical - so this attack isn't directed at you and you know who you are :)

b) The pathetic whiner who forlornly looks at the gifts and cards and whatever else that their work colleauge or sibling or whomever else received and comments what a waste of money it is. NAH - please see answer for person a)

For me, well, I'm happy to see other people get gifts and of course to give them out, why the hell not ? We do it on a number of other days. If I'm not involved with it then that cool, it just means I'm single and I've dealt most of my life with being that. I would just like to strangle the people in both categories mentioned as it comes over like a broken record and for me usually hearing stupid stuff like that once is enough.

So for all the pathetic losers that somehow feel inadequate or feel the need to justify why they hate the concept of Valentines Day all I can say is take a good look at yourself, figure out why you're feeling like a limp gherkin slice and wake up. To all people that actually feel happy today and have something to look forward to then I genuinely bid you a Happy Valentines Day ! :)

Put your hands up for Detroit !

Sometimes a song comes out of left field and even though in the 'real' world you would never have listened to it or enjoyed it, somehow, in the right moments the song appears and well, you're stuck with it and the memories associated with it. Thankfully Fedde Le Grand is only ever going to make me smile and think about Jagermeister & Beer in Hemavan, a night that slipped by too quickly in Belgrade and smoking a Sheesha /Hookah pipe a few times too many in Dubai. All along, at somehow the most appropriate time there was Fedde telling me to raise them for Detroit because it's a 'lovely city'. Either way I'm going to have to offer my thanks because my headspace will be right back in those places the moment someone decides to spin the disc.

So flight #8 took me from Belgrade to Vienna and three hours later I was on Flight #9 from Vienna to Dubai. I had entered the home straight of this trip but not before I took a couple of nights of in Dubai prior to making the home run for Sydney.

Now Dubai is just a spectacular place, audacious, futuristic, enterprising and cosmopolitan. Just reading up on the amount of development that has already taken place there is amazing but to actually witness what's going on and then to read on their intentions for the next 5 years just makes all the more mind boggling. Lured by zero corporate taxes, its proximity to both European and Asian markets and a relatively cheap labour force, this is quickly becoming both a financial and tourist mecca. On the list of 'most things surreal' was my ability to get some snowboarding time in their newly created indoor ski complex. If you'd like to check it out just go to the site, http://www.skidxb.com/English/default.aspx ....and for those of you that couldn't really be bothered, well I've included a shot below.

Of course, the purists will say it's not 'real snow' - like there's a difference these days because everyone is making artificial snow but really wme turns in the Mall of the Emirates I checked out most of the sights around town, the Burj al Arab (7 star hotel), construction on the Burj Dubai - which next year will be the tallest building on earth http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burj_Dubai, Palm island which is just a stunning piece of engineering and ingenuity and of course the desert.

Of course, after a long day in the desert what would any good Australian boy do ? Of course he'd find a pub and talk crap with a cool Canadian guy until 5am. Which I did on two consecutive nights before we both found ourselves stranded in a Hookah bar without any alcohol. Now picture two guys, smoking the pipe and having to order 'fruit cocktails' whilst sitting in a slightly 'artsie' bar. Can anyone say 'gay' ..........lol. Oh well, I guess you have to start somewhere. Either way it was a hell of a lot of fun and I got back to my hotel for an hour turn around before having to get to the airport and catch my flight at 8am . If anyone wants to know the trick of how to sleep on a plane, drink, don't sleep for a couple of days before and have the occasional fruit cocktail !?

Unfortunately this is where it all ends. I got back to Sydney on the 28th of January and kicked back into work and the same old routine the very next day. Thankfully I brought back some good vibes , I had the rest that I needed, I had fun with a lot of great people and I picked up the additional inspiration that I was missing for months. So until next time ......

Your own dream landscape ...

Flight # 7 was to get me from Vienna to Belgrade. Now its been 10yrs since my last visit and I can truthfully say that there were large periods of time in those years where I thought I'd never come back, but as the Socceroos have taught us, 'Never say never !', and so it was that this was to be a sort of homecoming. As I was explaining to Jase whilst I was in Belgrade, this place holds a lot of good memories for me as 'we' would, (mum/dad/myself), travel to Belgrade each year and spend anything from three weeks to two months there. As nearly all my extended family
live in Belgrade I often felt that this was a second home for me even though it was so far away.

Landing in Belgrade after such a long time away was an experience I won't forget. Aside from 'turbulence panic', a phenomena that my brain has only recently introduced me to, I just overwhelmingly excited....ahh, there must still be a small amount of Serbian left in me yet. For about a week after arriving the whole experience still felt surreal almost like I had overshot my alarm by a couple of hours and slept in.

It's not the Eiffel Tower but for me
it's still a Belgrade landmark

When it all comes together

Maybe it was the time that I spent away, being with family or the fantastic friends that I made whilst away but there were elements of myself that I found again and a type of inspiration that I took back to Aust that will hopefully stay with me for a long time. For the last 5-6 6months of last year I was really on auto-pilot, just getting by and not thinking about my next move or planning too far ahead or even doing things that I've previously enjoyed but that's changed for me now. Whether that's a temporary 'holiday afterglow' thing or a permanent fix remains to be seen but for right now I'll claim it.

Now Belgrade isn't the most attractive city on earth, it has some golden areas but it wouldn't make anyone's list of priority 'must see' places. Never the less as I've already mentioned my family/friends that made this one for me, gave me a shift in my own perspective and allowed me to see and experience normal things, normal thoughts etc in a different way. I don't think it's something that I'll be able to qualify absolutely and maybe its not even necessary .

'Top Hill State'

I only just notice that the written name to the right hand side of my dad is 'Henry'



So without going into the boring drivel about how great my cousin/Aunt were, because they were, and what I'll take away from the two weeks I had there, all I'm going to say is 'thankyou' and to those of you that may be reading this - I'll be back to visit as soon as I can...and if my quest for Austrian or 'some other' citizenship comes through, then who knows what might happen :)

Drop it like it's hot !

Ok, so I think I was somewhere in Slovenija the last time I was here, maybe complaining about the lack of snow. Not that +10 - +15 degree temperatures were an awful problem, only an issue when it came to the creation of snow or lack there of. So to try and make up for the lack of the white Glass and I did a three meals in three countries drive, breakfast in Slovenija, lunch in Austria and dinner in Hungary. I understand that when you're in Europe an accomplishment of this sort is nothing to write home about but I still enjoyed getting a few stamps on my passport, as well as getting told off by the Hungarian border police for taking photos. Tsk, tsk, they should really get over themselves, there's no secrets in Hungary that are worth keeping. I also managed to have a disgustingly bad goulash soup near a town called 'Ispank'. There's so much wrong with that last line that I don't feel the need to add to it.

The way they like it in Hungary !

After a week of being bombarded with food, alcohol and the Slovenijan way of hospitality I was back on the train heading north to my grandfather's hometown. By the way, do you know how hard it's becoming for me to try and pick up an Austrian passport !!? Running my argument on the doctrine of jus sanguinis (proof by descent) obviously doesn't mean a great deal to the Austrians even though both of my grandfathers were born in Austria and never renounced their citizenship. I've got a feeling that this is going to be a battle royale ! Now, I probably have a better chance of obtaining an EU passport via my Croatian heritage but F*** !!!!!!! Who the hell wants to be Croatian !!!!!!!!!! The only real alternative is to get a Serbian passport and wait for their accession to the EU, which by most recent reports will take anywhere from 5-10 years.

So back in Vienna and it was starting to feel a little like my parents place, a destination you visit in order to get somewhere else. I think next time I get to Europe, (For the European Championships in '08), I'll stay in Vienna for a lot longer. .I did however manage to find an Australian pub right near the Sacher Hotel where I left a little note on the downstairs bar for any future visitors. I also managed to drop a few Euro's too many at the casino playing a bit of roulette. Now the cool thing about the casino in Vienna is that it's very 'old school', cigar smoking, cognac drinking, James Bond types dropping bombs on the table. I think I got suckered in by the atmosphere and try to make a handsome collection but the numbers just weren't with me - c'est la vie. The only danger was my real desire after the loss to chase it down which involved a whole lot of discipline because I'm sure I would have lost a hell of a lot more and BIG if I didn't restrain myself...lol....still, looking back, it was a hell of a lot of fun !!

Here's a couple of shots, more to come down the track.

Stephansdom - Vienna

Johann Strauss in Stadtpark

Slovenian strut

Without reading my last post I guess I left tales of my adventures somewhere in Vienna. As I think I may have mentioned, I thought Stockholm was an amazingly beautiful city ...and then I turned up in Vienna. It might be the ancestral lineage supporting the bias but somehow it became more appealing to me than any other European city I've visited to date. Alas, my time in Vienna was only short and after only a couple of days I was heading south by train to Maribor in Slovenija.

Yawn and you'll miss it

Somehow I'd managed to turn up in Europe during a year when Winter had decided to take its own break. Other than a couple of days below zero on the Arctic Circle most days since then have been in the high single digits of even entering the low doubles. Everyone that I had spoken to up until that point mentioned how seasonally uncommon it was but SO WHAT !!! I WANTED SNOW DAMN IT !!! Austria couldn't supply any of that and thus in frustration I ventured into Slovenija in order to catch up with Glass and his family plus hopefully make some turns on Slovenijan slopes.

The first thing that I noticed once I had crossed the border was the lack of artificial light. Somehow Slovenijans, and for that matter all former Yugoslavs, appear to have a dislike for adequate street lighting. For years this had always made places like this feel a little more mysterious and I guess had always felt familiar at the same time as many parts of Belgrade had and still do look/feel the same. In any case Glass was kind enough to pick me up at the station and give me a 30min tour of Maribor - which in reality is about all anyone will ever need. It's not that Maribor is an aweful places, it has some cute characteristics and areas of charm but I guess it would be like visiting Wollongong for a week ! What do you do after the first hour !!??

Glass and his family live near the hillside/mountain area of Pohorje. I'm guessing that if you had to walk from his front door to the main run you'd be able to do it comfortably in under 10mins. Waking up the next morning and gazing out onto the mountain I noticed is strangely devoid of one critical form of water !! F**K !! The main run was somehow open with the assistance of some God awful type of artificial snow that was so icy and thin that nobody dared to even tempt fate. What was worse for Maribor is that the main Winter event for the year, the Zlatna Lisica (Golden Fox), an alpine ski event for women, had been called of for that day as the conditions were absolutely atrocious. Apparently during this time of year you get about a 100,000 people descend on Maribor for the event and for at least a week there is some sort of Winter social scene but as it happened on this occasion the lack of snow meant the lack of everything else. In any case Glass and I did manage to get up higher and over to the otherside if Pohorje where the artificial snow had held up as well as could be imagined.

One of the first things that you notice when you start to ski/board is then when you clip out of your 'snowriding device' the walk you instantly inherit is a John Wayne, Robocop, Arnold Schwarzennegar hybrid. Now one of the first things I noticed about the Slovenijan strut is that they really got into it, so much so that even without their boots they looked as though they were heading for a high noon showdown... I'm not sure if these guys were hardcore or had checked out too many Charles Bronson movies but it certainly provided me with some great laughs.

More Slovenijan tales in my next update ....