Reach out and touch faith

What is so difficult about giving a 'High Five' or for that matter any sort of five ? It's pretty easy from what I've seen, a simple slap of the hands acting either as an indication/acknowledgment of either success, a greeting, an agreement etc. Now I'm not sure how long its been around but its definitely not a new phenomenon. What I can't get is why old people seem to F**k this little greeting up, time, after time, after time. For some reason they treat it as a quasi handshake and when you decide to put one of them to the challenge the both of you end up looking like graduates from the 50 and under IQ camp.

Here's where they get it all wrong;

1) When the offer of 'the five' is provided, i.e, a younger person being the instigator, the old person somehow confuses it with an horizontal handshake. The strange hybrid that they come up with you involves them sliding their hand across the palm of the instigator rather than slapping it.

2) The actual 'Hi Five' fails even more critically as the older person either goes for the a) hand clasp or b) uses option one and does a little push away. Either way that manage to get it all wrong with the intention of the younger person being blown out of the water by the ineptitude of the older, dilapidated, retarded geezer/geezress.

What can we do to solve the problem ?

The 'Hi Five' or 'the five' is a casual thing, it's hip without being over the top. I'd say education would be the logical option but when you get to a certain age you're just set in your ways and just can't get past the concept that 'your way' isn't necessarily the best. I personally think the best option is a solid diet of hip-hop/r'n'b videos because the one thing that an older person is not getting any of is stimulation in the nether regions. It's going to have to be a form of 'selling the five' via titillation. What better way to get an oldie to give you a five than by spinning Cisco's 'the thong' song 100 times and by your alloted geezer mimicking their actions ? Of course, the geezer my start calling you 'hommie' and ask you 'where all the hoes at ?' but hey, you've got to give a little to get a little. As for the geezress, well I recommend something by Usher or maybe a Denzel Washington movie or two. I think the geezress needs to be worked a little more but with the necessary cajoling she to can be offering the one handed slap with the enthusiasm of a little 'Bow Wow.