Between the eyes
Sometimes I think I'm a little too nice. Now, there's components within that which I'll never be able to change but I think that coming back with retorts to dumbass comments might just have to be one area where I'm going to have to up the tempo. Here's a little overview of what I'm getting at:
The classic observation: 'Man, you're short' or 'Aren't you short ?' .
Now this is just a 'classic' observation of me, I mean really, did it take a person just that split second for it to trigger in their mind and for them to spit out their dumbass observation or had they been waying up the critical point of male height / 'shortness' for sometime. You see, now if I was a midgit/dwarf or anything that could be considered as such I wouldn't get such a flagrantly stupid comment ...but...because I'm under the 'average' male height then obviously I need to be interrupted and told that in fact I am short ! So, this is where I think there needs to be a little turn around. If people are going to dare be so stupid and 'call it as they see it', well, it's time for me to do so as well. I think I might just go with anything, perhaps, you're bald, you're a fat sh*t, you're particularly ugly, you've got the personality of a ravaged hermit, your IQ actually is double your shoe size !?, you've got the co-ordination of someone that is in fact handicapped. I could go on for days, so I think you might understand what I'm driving at and my sense of purpose. Usually I don't partake in the 'calling it as I see it crowd' but if I'm going to cop it from people that feel it's their right, well, I should offer them a little clarity in return.
The 'intuitive' observation: You know, I could tell you were an only child.
I'm always amazed by the insight here and perhaps the obvious bullshit nature of the line which often is an attempt by the said individual to be insightful. I usually get this several stops in a conversation after I've said, 'No, I don't have any brothers or sisters'. By the magic of deductive reasoning the individual always comes back at me with the observation that I somehow gave away that I was the one and only. I don't know but methinks that it is perhaps the power of the dumbass mind of the individual to somehow manipulate what is auditory, transmit it through the short circuit f**k up that is their mind and then relay it to me in an almost mystical, revelationary way. Now, I'm not pointing this towards people that have known me for a while, just those that within a handful of conversations can somehow pick up on the vibe. I don't know, is there a sign on my back ? Is there some aura about me that shouts 'only child' ? Is it perhaps the number plate on the car I drive that reads ONLY1
The 'multicultural' observation: 'You aren't Australian are you ?' or 'Hey, where are you from ?'.
To the later I usually just say Seven Hills and that ends that but the first one particularly gets under my skin. Born and bred here my friend, am as Australian as anyone else and just because the colour of my hair is dark and my skin a little towards the olive side doesn't make me more or less 'Australian' than the next person. I mean really, is that an attempt to identify my 'race' ? What the hell does 'race' mean in anycase, it's just a nonesense notion. The ability to identify a person or group of persons by physical attributes and then charaterise them by that is a croc. As we know, there are sub groups and sub groups of sub groups and all we really are are the total sum of the social and environmental characteristics that surround us. I like watching Cricket, I support the Swans, I'll support Australia in any sporting endeavour, I love the country that I'm born in and just because my parents are born elsewhere doesn't make me more or less Australian than a person whose parents are born here. Ok, I laugh at the fact that on several occasions I've had people ask if I was Uruguayan (lol, that's actually amusing) but more often than not I get Italian or Greek, although once a taxi driver went out on a limb and asked if I was Chinese...well, maybe if I was born there and spent all my years in that culture. So if I get this one I again I might just go with the response, 'hmmm, too bad you're a dumb sh*t otherwise I might just have told you'.
That's it for the moment, more to come as my levels of irritation increase.
Sometimes I think I'm a little too nice. Now, there's components within that which I'll never be able to change but I think that coming back with retorts to dumbass comments might just have to be one area where I'm going to have to up the tempo. Here's a little overview of what I'm getting at:
The classic observation: 'Man, you're short' or 'Aren't you short ?' .
Now this is just a 'classic' observation of me, I mean really, did it take a person just that split second for it to trigger in their mind and for them to spit out their dumbass observation or had they been waying up the critical point of male height / 'shortness' for sometime. You see, now if I was a midgit/dwarf or anything that could be considered as such I wouldn't get such a flagrantly stupid comment ...but...because I'm under the 'average' male height then obviously I need to be interrupted and told that in fact I am short ! So, this is where I think there needs to be a little turn around. If people are going to dare be so stupid and 'call it as they see it', well, it's time for me to do so as well. I think I might just go with anything, perhaps, you're bald, you're a fat sh*t, you're particularly ugly, you've got the personality of a ravaged hermit, your IQ actually is double your shoe size !?, you've got the co-ordination of someone that is in fact handicapped. I could go on for days, so I think you might understand what I'm driving at and my sense of purpose. Usually I don't partake in the 'calling it as I see it crowd' but if I'm going to cop it from people that feel it's their right, well, I should offer them a little clarity in return.
The 'intuitive' observation: You know, I could tell you were an only child.
I'm always amazed by the insight here and perhaps the obvious bullshit nature of the line which often is an attempt by the said individual to be insightful. I usually get this several stops in a conversation after I've said, 'No, I don't have any brothers or sisters'. By the magic of deductive reasoning the individual always comes back at me with the observation that I somehow gave away that I was the one and only. I don't know but methinks that it is perhaps the power of the dumbass mind of the individual to somehow manipulate what is auditory, transmit it through the short circuit f**k up that is their mind and then relay it to me in an almost mystical, revelationary way. Now, I'm not pointing this towards people that have known me for a while, just those that within a handful of conversations can somehow pick up on the vibe. I don't know, is there a sign on my back ? Is there some aura about me that shouts 'only child' ? Is it perhaps the number plate on the car I drive that reads ONLY1
The 'multicultural' observation: 'You aren't Australian are you ?' or 'Hey, where are you from ?'.
To the later I usually just say Seven Hills and that ends that but the first one particularly gets under my skin. Born and bred here my friend, am as Australian as anyone else and just because the colour of my hair is dark and my skin a little towards the olive side doesn't make me more or less 'Australian' than the next person. I mean really, is that an attempt to identify my 'race' ? What the hell does 'race' mean in anycase, it's just a nonesense notion. The ability to identify a person or group of persons by physical attributes and then charaterise them by that is a croc. As we know, there are sub groups and sub groups of sub groups and all we really are are the total sum of the social and environmental characteristics that surround us. I like watching Cricket, I support the Swans, I'll support Australia in any sporting endeavour, I love the country that I'm born in and just because my parents are born elsewhere doesn't make me more or less Australian than a person whose parents are born here. Ok, I laugh at the fact that on several occasions I've had people ask if I was Uruguayan (lol, that's actually amusing) but more often than not I get Italian or Greek, although once a taxi driver went out on a limb and asked if I was Chinese...well, maybe if I was born there and spent all my years in that culture. So if I get this one I again I might just go with the response, 'hmmm, too bad you're a dumb sh*t otherwise I might just have told you'.
That's it for the moment, more to come as my levels of irritation increase.
posted by Helisher at 4:58 pm
1 Comments:
if you are a vegetarian (you come across like one) then you arent an aussie
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